I once read a story about a woman who so desired to have a little one of her own that she convinced her entire world including her partner and even her own body into thinking she was pregnant, complete with pregnancy pangs, cravings and with time even a considerable bump that rocks with what to her was an unmistakable tiny feet kicking in there…. phantom pregnancy… Women with phantom pregnancy are absolutely convinced that they are pregnant. Even a negative pregnancy test and a negative ultrasound scan are not sufficient to shake their belief. They are not trying to deceive anybody and will describe all the common experiences of a pregnant woman including foetal movements. Phantom pregnancy is thought to have a deep psychological basis, strong enough to bring about the hormonal changes which cause the display of the physical features.

And it is this power of the mind to see what it would like to see that often concerns me about some of the stuff that I hear from fellow Eritreans…. Bertrand Russell said;

What a man believes upon grossly insufficient evidence is an index into his desires -- desires of which he himself is often unconscious. If a man is offered a fact which goes against his instincts, he will scrutinize it closely, and unless the evidence is overwhelming, he will refuse to believe it. If, on the other hand, he is offered something which affords a reason for acting in accordance to his instincts, he will accept it even on the slightest evidence. The origin of myths is explained in this way.

In other words when we so desperately want to see something, we accept its virtues without much evidence…. When presented with a piece of information one naturally and almost automatically goes through the process of scrutinising that piece of information and weigh up the evidence presented before making a decision to accept… however if that piece of information relates to some undeclared or declared inclination that one has had, the level of scrutiny one applies goes out the window…. just think of the second hand car you bought despite the screeching in the background and justified it using the facts that the sleazy dealer (who wouldn’t be able to sell you anything under normal circumstances) told you…strange isn’t it?

And so it is with PFDJ supporters they want…so want to believe that the economic miracle that they have been holding their breath for is just round the corner so much so that they find their eyes welling with ‘patriotic zeal’ when the man they know has lied to them time and time again is telling them ‘the end is nigh’…. Just like the woman with a phantom pregnancy they convince each other and themselves that the micro-dams signify massive economic leap…. The Gerset dam is the biggest in that part of the world and the leadership of Eritrea is the best in the world…Mai-nefhi college is the envy of the horn of Africa and Eritrea’s economic and development policies are a threat to the entire world that the US of A is trying to thwart it!! 

Again just like the sufferers of phantom pregnancies PFDJ supporters get deeply hurt and disturbed by the mere stating of the fact or the reality…. In the story that I read no amount of negative pregnancy test and negative ultrasound scan was sufficient to convince the woman and her partner, who had tenderly nurtured, what was in danger of becoming a apparition, for months on end…the realisation was slow and agonising…. Anger followed by disbelief followed by denial and then  deep deep sadness…Back in the days it was chairs they threw angrily at us…. Well… as the psychosis deepens PFDJ supporters have taken to more disturbing methods of protecting their phantasm…. Leaving us aghast and almost feeling sorry for the damage they are causing themselves…

Let me conclude and say what Abraham Lincoln once said; ‘How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four; calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg’. I don’t know what the objectives of PFDJ thugery and vulgarism are but if it is to deter anyone from standing up for the truth and telling things as is…. I am afraid it has failed miserably…. the rest of us use their regular tantrums and outbursts as occasions allowing yet another insight into the deep psychosis that has afflicted fellow Eritreans…