He arrived at JFK airport via an airliner that nobody seems to have heard of. At the immigration desk he was asked to present his passport and identification papers. He said he was not carrying anything. He told the Official he was seeking a political asylum.

The man was baffled at first. He asked him to please present his papers so others can proceed. He refused. And after some give and take the Official called airport security. (Homeland security they call them these days}.

A tall cadaver look -alike man came ambling and asked ‘Is there a problem here?’ When the airline Official explained what had happened the cadaver look alike talked into his hand held radio and some three burly security guys promptly showed up and immediately escorted the man to a private room. To his chagrin, he was strip searched and then made to sit on a hard chair for over three hours to await the interrogation team. FBI, DEA agents and more Homeland security personnel.

The cadaver looked at him from the top of his    reading glasses intently.

‘Would you for the record, please state your name, nationality, current address, date of birth, favorite drink and why and where you are traveling?

‘I would start with the last question first. Whisky! Green Label. I am sure you all know me, my name is Isaias Afewerk. I was here once before for a visit. I am now asking for a political asylum because I feel that if I go back to my country I would be in mortal danger.’ 

‘And what is the name of the country and where is this country located?’

‘It is called Eritrea and is located in East Africa.’

‘And where exactly in East Africa is this Ertha located?’

A little angry. ‘It is not Ertha it is Eritrea and it is exactly located at the tip of the Horn.’  

The security, immigration and FBI people had no idea where this Eritrea or Ertha or what ever it was called was located. I mean with over one hundred fifty countries in the Globe it is understandable. Specially to people who have no idea there is a World out there.

Then one of them had a bright idea. He told one of the security guards to go find a map of this so called Horn.

They pored over the map; they scanned it they turned it upside down, inside out for about half an hour. At last one of them found it!;

Here! This one that is shaped like an AK -47’. 

‘A country shaped like an AK-47? Is this some kind of a hidden terrorist code or some kind of a joke?’ furious a man from the Office of .Tobacco, Drugs Alcohol etc.

The cadaver interrupted him and continued with his questioning.

‘Would you for the record please state your occupation and profession?

‘I am the President of this State of Eritrea’. 

They looked at each other with amusement.

‘And pray tell us why would a Head of State want to ask for a political asylum?’ the guy sitting next to the cadaver.

‘Well the Shah once did. As did Mobutu and Mengistu and many others. It is common to our genre’.

‘But to cut a long story short, when I was Head of State I had established a highly competent State security apparatus to protect our people from some of the subversive elements of our society. My trusted colleagues informed me before I left for this meeting at the UN that some of those very people I had promoted to positions of high Office where planning to overthrow me and accuse me of all kind of dastardly things. You know, like imprisoning people and starting wars, and starving the population. They were planning to imprison me! Even put me on trial and have me executed. Accuse me of all kind of hideous crimes they say I committed against my beloved Eritreans.’

‘And your profession before you became Head of State of this county called Ertha?

It is Eritrea. I was a famous guerilla fighter. I mean freedom fighter. I love freedom very much. That is why I want political asylum. Lead my people to the Promised Land.’

‘Are you a Jew?’

‘No I am a Christian of the ancient Orthodox Faith founded by St. Augustine. No, I think by St. Nicholas?  Or Saint Benedict the Second. I mean we have a lot of Saints you know. Sometimes gets confusing.’

‘You say you were a President. President like in George Bush. How where you elected President?’

‘Well actually not exactly elected in the sense of competing with rivals and people voting for me. I mean there was no one bold enough to take power so, well, I asked a friend, a relative actually  to nominate me and he did and one thing lead to another and I was elected. Unanimously of course.’

The cadaver whispers to the man on his right. Change of interrogation tactics

‘Do you know Osama Bin Laden?’ The cadaver continued.

‘No I never met the man.’

Do you know any members of Hezbollah?’

‘No they were very far from where we where when I was a platoon commander’‘

‘Have you ever had contacts with Hammas?’

‘No those are young guys. Never got to meet them’.

‘Have you been to Afghanistan? Or Pakistan? Do you know Mullah Omer?’

‘No. But my security guys once told me he was living in one of the Hunnish islands. Greater or Smaller whatever. Disguised as a terrorist. I mean as a fisherman.’ 

‘Do you love Israel?’

‘Yes I love Israel very much. Would like to see it free. Would give my life for its freedom’.

‘Do you believe Hammas should recognize the existence of Israel?’

‘Well, you mean its borders?’

‘How can it have borders if Hammas does not recognize its existence?’

‘Ah! I know the answer to that one. Build a border wall. I love those border walls. I was in East Berlin once when I was a young fighter. Was in fact planning to build one in and around Badme too.’ 

More consultations by the cadaver and his henchmen.

‘What do you think of the Head of State of Ethiopia? The man they call the scourge of Somalia?’

‘That fellow? Yeah. Knew him once. Wiley fellow too. Used to come around when we where in the field. Always asking for guns. Heavy smoker too. Used to con a cigarette or two out of the Tegadeltis.’

The cadaver looked at his computer for information and added.

‘He says you are harboring terrorists. He in fact says you are a terrorist’.

‘Yea, I guess he has not changed. Still goes around defaming everyone’ He will say and do anything for, well, anything’

‘What do you think of the World Trade Towers.?’ This one from the FBI agent.

‘Beautiful structures. Saw them when I was here last. Invited by the Press Corps. Or the Press Club or something. I would like to see them again too’

Wouldn’t we all. The FBI agent sighs...

‘What steps did you take to protect American citizens after what happened in Kenya and Tanzania?’ This one from an Official of the Immigration and border control vigilante group known as yes, the IBCVG. Actually their specialty is mostly Latinos. 

‘Their safety was of paramount concern to me. Told them to pack up and go home.

For their own safety’.

‘What do you think of Saddam Hussein? There is rumor that you were chummy, chummy when you were a guerilla leader, I mean a freedom fighter?’ 

To be continued.

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