The way the powerful define our largely bipolar world has been getting more inventive and sensitive. The world used to be made up of Free people and slaves. Empire and colonies. Civilized vs uncivilized. Developed vs undeveloped. Then, with advances in the philosophies of cultural relativism, psychology and behavior scientists, the labels got a little less judgmental. It is still a bi-polar world, but now it is made up of value-neutral words like the "North" vs the "South." "Donor nations" vs "partners." And no nation is undeveloped; it turns out it is "developing." This kind appellation�the present continuous tense--has been used on, say, Tanzania even though, by all measures, Tanzania has been regressing for the last 40 years.

Politics, like fashion, is cyclical so the think tanks have reverted back to cruel labels. About 20 years ago, they came up with a term for a nation that is making no progress and is, in fact, on the verge of losing its license to call itself a "state." They call it the "failed state." There is something depressingly clinical, something terminal about "failed state," don�t you think? It is like saying someone is in a coma, or someone has lung cancer. The term is a way to prepare people for nothing and everything, simultaneously:

"How are you?"
"Fine."
"Kids?"
"Good."
"Job?"
"Fine."
"Haiti?"
"Didn�t you hear? It is a failed state."
"Oh."

In addition to being cruel, this description is also a useless one. Let�s take a look at Somalia, the poster child for "failed state." Is it really true that life in Somalia for the average Somali (particularly someone who was not from the favored clans) is significantly different now from the days of Siad Barre? The difference between a "developing" Somalia and a "failed state" Somalia is that oppression has now been diffused: whereas one tyrant used to abuse Somalis, now ten war-lords have decentralized the oppression. An NGO or a UN official used to deal with one tyrant; now he has to deal with ten. I, the NGO official, have failed to set up an appointment to speak to someone in charge. Dammitt, it is a failed state.

Proof: Freedom House ranks a citizen�s political rights/civil liberties on a scale of 1 to 7, with 1-1 being the best score and 7-7 being the worst score. Freedom House has been keeping record of Somalia since 1972. If one compares the "developing" nation of Somalia (1972-1991) with the "failed state" nation of Somalia (1991-2004), it becomes absolutely clear that there is no difference in the life of the citizen: he was "not free" when he was "developing" and he is still "not free" when his state officially failed. Moreover, Freedom House tells us, at a score of 7-6, a Somali citizen (who lives in a nation with no central authority) is no worse off than his fellow African, say Eritrean, whose score is 6-7.

The "failed state" denomination has now found wider circulation with politicians eager to apply it to any geographical piece where they want to go in with guns blazing. Meles Zenawi frequently refers to Somalia as a "failed state" ; the Ethiopianist European intellectuals refer to Eritrea as a "failed state." Recently, I heard an American politician refer to Fallujah, Iraq as a "failed city." What is next: a "failed neighborhood"?

If the definition of a "failed state" is that the central government does not exercise any authority over a vast proportion of the state, what is the term for a state where the central government exercises total and suffocating authority? "Successful state?" Clearly, there is a limitation to this definition because we all know the latter describes Eritrea perfectly well and we all know Eritrea is not a "successful state" by any stretch of definition.

The Diagnoser of Failed Statehood treats the state like a student: you have flunked a test, now you have to repeat the lesson. What is most curious about the diagnosis is that they almost always want to tutor the exact same person who is responsible for the mess the state is in.

Maybe they should create a new classification called "should�ve developed by now" state, which would apply to most of the Third World. Really, now, is Haiti a mess because there was slavery there 200 years ago? Is it a mess because the US kept intervening there? Or is it a mess because the Haitians just haven�t figured out the formula for governance?

What we need, in my opinion, is some simpler definition, borrowed from life. Life, and everything living, is a three-act play: birth, growth, and death. For states, Act 1 is the emergence and the birth pangs: borders, flags, national anthems, identity definition, constitution-writing; Act 2 is growth, measured in the improvement of lives and Act 3 is total participation in total globalization and rendering borders irrelevant. Act 1 nations should further be categorized into new nations (infants) and nations that refuse to grow up (infantile) because they are still arguing about their borders, identity and how to govern themselves.

There are your three categories: infant/infantile, growing, mature. This is really consistent with the relationship between "donor nations" and their "infant/infantile" partners: the donors are always conditioning their help until the enfante terrible behaves better. For example, George Bush recently told our own enfante terrible that he (along with his equal in the Central African Republic) is kicked out of the African Growth & Opportunity Act. Come back when you stop acting like a child. In the Eritrean field in the 60s and 70s, the front had a similar response to children who wanted to join the club but were not ready: quntal srnay beliEka temeles.

The crime of the PFDJ is that it has taken a nation that should be in the "growing" stage now, to the infant status...

An Interview With A Used Party Dealer

I am often reminded by readers that I use metaphors that can only be understood by people who live in the United States. Context, they ask. Introduction, please. Ok. In the United States, used car salespersons have a reputation for being dishonest and liars. If you go to a used car dealership, you can expect:

Hey, wanna take this baby for a spin? Go ahead, kick the tires! What is that noise, you ask? Oh, sir, that is just the 7^th cylinder. Well, yes, this is a 6-cylinder car, but didn�t you hear about the limited edition? Let me tell you: it comes with an invisible 7^th, you only know it is there by the funny noise. I don�t know about you, but I like my cars to make noise, it is called engineering. What? Recalled? I don�t recall this car being recalled. What�s that? Why, yes, of course it is normal for smoke to come out from under the hood�there are elves barbequing there, to celebrate their new owner, you. Now, if you would only sign here�.what? Don�t be silly; we would never think of rolling back the odometer, that would be against our company constitution. Here�s a pen, here�s the dotted line�what? You want references? You want to speak to someone who has bought the PFDJ Lemon? You mean a real person? Well, I for one. So, ok, I didn�t pay for it, it is a company car�.you mean someone who is actually paying for it? That is difficult to arrange. I got an idea: how about I have you talk to people who are chauffeured in a limo but actually attended my seminar about the importance of buying a lemon, would that do? What will it take for you to take this baby home?

In addition to lying, some used car salesmen insist on embarrassing and humiliating themselves. There are car salesmen who wear clown suits, break car windshields with jackhammers, wear plaid suits with loud ties, fly confetti, blare loud noise�.all in an effort to be noticed.

The PFDJ is full of used car salesmen, except they are selling a Used Party which, like a used car, has outlived its usefulness. And they are a diverse lot: some are entertaining, some even educational, but they just cannot help themselves with the lies: it is an occupational hazard. For decades, the dealership had an intact sales force; then some guys decided that they were tired of lying and they would like to try honesty for a change. Dear Boss, they wrote, we are tired of lying. We are not just quitting; we are going to expose your lies. Let�s meet and talk about it. Sincerely, G-19. Wait, sincerely, G-15. Sincerely, G-14. The boss was not amused. You are making a mistake. I repeat, you are making a mistake. Hijiwin, you are making a mistake. Wetru, you are making a mistake. Then the dealership went into overdrive. You thought we were lying? You ain�t seen nothing yet! Wait till you see us spin. You thought we were selling lemons now? Wait till you see what we have in store for you. We will have lemons, we will mug the buyers, we will beat them up in the parking lot�and none will be the wiser because we will have a steady supply of excited testimony-providers, describing the value of lemons from chauffeured limos with tinted windows. (You know them: I deserve a new car; but the masses are too untutored to get one; let them get their Yugo and I promise to praise it from a distance.)

With PFDJ�s Used Party Dealers, you know they are going to lie to you; you are just hoping they don�t embarrass themselves in the process. This is why people liked Yemane Gebremeskel�s recent interview with IRIN. Of course, almost every word he uttered is a lie. And he can�t help that; he is a used party dealer. What many, including me, are grateful for is that he did not embarrass himself and Eritrea in the process. Let me explain.

The PFDJ hierarchy is now made up of two groups: those who worship Isaias and those who merely idolize him. Don�t wince; I am not going to mention names. But you will know who I am talking about from the following descriptions. Those who worship him imitate him: they have picked up his mannerisms: his sense of humor, his bluntness, his expressions, his vulgarity. Isaias is "colorful", which is to say that, in an interview, he is guaranteed to say something embarrassing. Guranteed. Very much like Qaddaffi. Those who merely idolize him will repeat his beliefs, but in their own words and in their own voices.

Yemane Gebremeskel lied to us�he insulted our intelligence, he made up stories, he equated those arrested with Derg officials, he fibbed, he fabricated--but we have come to expect it. It is what a used party dealer does. We are thankful to him that he, unlike Isaias and his worshippers, did not embarrass himself in the interview because, by doing so, he would have embarrassed Eritrea.

Now only if they could stop lying� But that would require growing up. Eritrea is being run by used party dealers, and so long as they are in power, it will never grow. The PFDJ will say "Eritrea is an infant state; learning to crawl". The reality is that, under PFDJ, Eritrea has become an infantile state, regressing further, further with every year that it should be growing instead. And so long as they are in power, it will never grow. And so long as it refuses to share power, as Siad Barre did in the 1980s, Eritrea cannot be spared Somalia's fate.

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